This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize