YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
