the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
