dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
