I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
