We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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