So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize