Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
high people should be assigned attendants
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
