ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My room smells like vodka and shame
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
