the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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