I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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