with your own penis?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
