Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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