My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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