i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
There r osticjed everywhere
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
