The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
