Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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