I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize