I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
