Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
