therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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