Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
