Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
