Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
