so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
