its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
