i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
