areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
