areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
