Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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