How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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