I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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