I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
