all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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