I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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