my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well I just put wine in my tea
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
