Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
