She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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