He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The feeling are messing with the penis
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
