I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Randomize
