he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
