we're blogging at a bar
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
