someone threw a dead crab at me
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
