I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
