Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize