Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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