i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
