yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
