K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
