i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
