Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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