Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
