There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
