sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Someone signed my nipple.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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