I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
it glows. i had to have it.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
