i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
