actually, I'm a sock model
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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