OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Your penis caused this!
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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