we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize