I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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