you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
